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Anonymous Asked:
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

My answer:

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.




marvelcastsource:

Can you re-enact your reaction to hearing you had been cast on a marvel movie?

(via epic-humor)



(Source: best-of-memes, via lolzpicx)

sammybitchfacewinchester:

fricken-nuggets:

fricken-nuggets:

Whats red and bad for your teeth?

a brick

well you’re not wrong

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)





caligulascookie:

r-u-seri0us:

88-red-balloons:

catladyofficial:

the best headline i’ve ever read.

yes. apparently a kid was screaming in line behind him about wanting pie, so he bought every single one. 23 pies. then slowly ate them as he stared at the kid and kid’s mom.

This is amazing

OKAY so my mom found this article (or one about the same event) on Facebook. Basically what happened was, this guy went into BK with a headache, and while he was in line this kid and his mother enter the restaurant. The kid begins throwing a fit, screaming (I quote) “I want a fucking pie!” This is a child, mind you. His mother, on the phone, ignores the kid. The man’s headache got worse because of this screaming kid and he asked the woman if she could control her child. She told him to stop telling him how to raise her kid and went back to talking on the phone. So the guy orders his burger and all the pies they had- 23. He proceeded to the exit, only to hear the woman yell, “What do you mean, you don’t have any pies?” The cashier helplessly points out the man who bought all the pies. Our hero, to rub salt in the wound, slowly starts eating a pie before leaving.

caligulascookie:

r-u-seri0us:

88-red-balloons:

catladyofficial:

the best headline i’ve ever read.

yes. apparently a kid was screaming in line behind him about wanting pie, so he bought every single one. 23 pies. then slowly ate them as he stared at the kid and kid’s mom.

This is amazing

OKAY so my mom found this article (or one about the same event) on Facebook. Basically what happened was, this guy went into BK with a headache, and while he was in line this kid and his mother enter the restaurant. The kid begins throwing a fit, screaming (I quote) “I want a fucking pie!” This is a child, mind you. His mother, on the phone, ignores the kid. The man’s headache got worse because of this screaming kid and he asked the woman if she could control her child. She told him to stop telling him how to raise her kid and went back to talking on the phone. So the guy orders his burger and all the pies they had- 23. He proceeded to the exit, only to hear the woman yell, “What do you mean, you don’t have any pies?” The cashier helplessly points out the man who bought all the pies. Our hero, to rub salt in the wound, slowly starts eating a pie before leaving.

(via thetumblr-thisisatumblr)




disneyineveryway:

high school and college, the whole educational system, in a nutshell.

(Source: DisneyTangles, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

batmansymbol:

iamscienceside:

batmansymbol:

science side of tumblr please explain why ice water tastes better than regular water

Because ice is water, and water is water. So if you put ice in water, it’s like… double water.

god damn it science side of tumblr

(via thetumblr-thisisatumblr)






queenofadodi:

BEST FOURTH WALL BREAK IN TV HISTORY

(Source: femburton, via narshawe)



(Source: masterfulsarcasm, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)


(Source: twitterscreencaps, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)





Taco